dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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