he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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