on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
