Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
