Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize