She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
