Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
