The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
