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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
