am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
