I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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