I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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