I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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