We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
3 2 1 whiskey
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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