; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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