dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
