***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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