You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
