I got chris browned last night
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
