We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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