I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
