you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
