my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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