Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona

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(330): View more from Ohio

Used tampon in my purse. That from you?

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(907): View more from Alaska

You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.

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(281): View more from Texas

thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.

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(587): View more from Alberta

I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.

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(518): View more from New York

Andddddd I'm drunk

(240): View more from Maryland

Andddddd it's Tuesday

(518): View more from New York

That's your opinion.

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