I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
