the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
