great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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