My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
