Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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