You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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