At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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