Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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