That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
