Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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