is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
