i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
