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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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