i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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