Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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