dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Randomize
