I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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