My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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