Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize