It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
