I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
