Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We just shotgunned beers for America
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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