It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
