It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
