I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
