At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize