i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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