she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you inspire me to be a worse person
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
