i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
