Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
