Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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