Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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