Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
