I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
